Why am i condescending

The future of innovation and technology in government for the greater good. Leaders who are shaping the future of business in creative ways. New workplaces, new food sources, new medicine--even an entirely new economic system. The ones who have a knack for climbing up on their high horses while making you feel oh-so-small and unimportant? Nobody likes that condescending team member. Even worse, what if—gasp! There are two words that have a way of sneaking into our vocabulary and kicking everyone around us down a couple of pegs.

What are they? Inserting these words into your sentences immediately makes you sound condescending. Your boss explicitly approved your request for a long lunch. You give your colleagues a wave and a brief smile as you breeze past that crowded conference room and out the office door.

Yes, sometimes in your career you need to put yourself first—and, hey, you deserve a break! So if you don't have anything nice to say, simply don't say anything at all.

Or, you can offer up a compliment that has nothing to do with their outward appearance , according to Lindsay Holmes on HuffingtonPost. Those are way better compliments, anyway. If a friend comes to you with a heart-wrenching issue, the last thing you want to say is, "Well, that's never happened to me, but Have you never been sad, or angry, or rejected?

If not, use your dang imagination, and assist your friend in feeling a little less alone. I'm sure you mean well when dishing out the relationship advice. But it can quickly get out of hand, not to mention super hurtful. So get permission before doling it out. There's definitely a holier-than-thou vibe to people who can't take advice.

It's usually not true, so don't be afraid of hearing someone out, especially if that person loves you and means well. Their advice may be just what you need. Who knows why people do it, but every now and again someone will refer to someone in the group in the third person — as if he or she isn't standing right there.

Don't let this be you. I personally think it's absolutely adorable when, say, a sweet older lady calls me "hun. It can come off as incredibly patronizing , according to Marya Smith on Prevention. So best keep them to yourself. Yes, it's tempting to throw out zingers at other people's expense, especially if you're hanging out with close friends. However, if you don't know for sure that people's feelings won't get hurt, it's best to resist your comedic urges, and save everyone the potential hurt.

Again, hardly anyone does this type of thing on purpose. But think back to the times when someone else was talking say, in a work meeting , and you talked over them. It may have come off as super go-getter of you, but in reality you deemed your voice to be more important than theirs. Here are three examples you can modify to fit your own situation:.

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By clicking below, you agree that we may process your information in accordance with these terms. Skip to content. Social Menu. Workplace Wisdom Blog. Why People Condescend Do condescending people truly mean to treat others that way? You Can Combat Condescension Condescension can put a well-honed shiv in an otherwise productive relationship, making people feel unappreciated and dissed. Here are three examples you can modify to fit your own situation: At one point during the budget discussion, you said X, and pushed back from the table.

It seemed as if you were angry or thought I had said something stupid and you wanted to cut me off. Is there something else I should have said that would have been more effective?